Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Charity suffereth long...

...and is kind (Moroni 7:45). Today I decided to focus on one scripture and that was it. I read that right before I went to stand in line for four hours getting the dang VPK voucher for free preschool next year. You read that right, FOUR hours with three children. I knew I would have to stand in line, but not that long. For the first hour and 15 minutes we were in the sun and it was so hot for little kids and a bald-headed baby. Once I finally got to the shaded part of the line a man came by with numbers. What? Everyone had a number? Except me. I asked him for one and he told me to go to the back of the line, which was at least an hour back, and in the sun. I waited at the back for a few minutes and he still didn't give me a number. Finally I told another lady I had already waited for over an hour, which began a fight between them and me... anyway... that's when the phrase "charity suffereth long" popped into my head. It was a long, frustrating wait with all the kids, and I did not feel kind or charitable towards the number nazi. But it did help me at least try to be more charitable, a little. I understand it is a government program and it's free and people go to great lengths to get free stuff, but I really was not trying to butt in line--I didn't butt in line, I simply missed the numbers when they came around probably because I was chasing kids. I just want to sign my child up for free preschool so that I can have three full hours with only two kids at home next year instead of three. Is that so wrong?

Now I have to stand in line for a few more hours to get into the right preschool on Thursday. Ugh.

It's going to be a cereal night for dinner again. Or Wendy's. It catches me off guard almost daily. What, I have to make dinner again? Didn't I just do that? Not my strong point. Especially not today.

We still have our cats and let me tell you, I have been AGONIZING over the decision. I think the time has come to say goodbye, but it is really hard when it comes right down to it. Part of what makes this decision so hard is that I keep talking to people that really like cats, although not enough to take mine. They keep giving me options about how to get rid of fleas or how to keep the cats inside or what medication to use, but I have come to the realization that I am just not willing to do those things. I am perfectly happy with the arrangement we have now (our cats poop outside, go in and out as they please and follow us on walks); happy, that is, except for the flea problem. This is really interfering with my life and my stress level. I have so many bites on my feet and ankles and am so embarrassed when people ask about them. We've tried so many things to get rid of them but they keep coming back. I know if we kept the cats inside we wouldn't have the problem, but I also know that will cause more stress in my life. Trying to control every door that is opened all day long with four kids here? Not going to happen. Cleaning out the litter box? Call me lazy, but I have enough to clean up and stress over, and they are called kids--as in real people.

Of course, the decision is so clear to everyone, it's just hard to think about where they might go or what will happen to them, because they are good cats. I feel bad because the fleas aren't exactly their fault. But I do have to remember, they aren't people and people are more important to me than pets. They will die in our lifetime anyway and they really are interfering with my happiness and overall well-being. Wish me luck.


HeatherWasHere said...

Ugh, sorry. Why do you have to have such a kind heart? You'll figure it out. :)

kkerr said...

Oh Laura. That is so rough. I hope someone kind will take those cats soon. Also, I needed a reminder on that scripture. I get mad so easily - especially on the phone with customer service reps. If I had gone through what you did today, I would have been so mad and then I would have started crying. Way to stand in line for four hours! You deserve a medal.

Marinda said...

wow! standing in line for four hours?! sounds like worse torture than Guantanamo bay, if you ask me. i absolutely loved your comment about dinner! i laughed out loud. for some reason, breakfast and lunch don't stress me out- just dinner. you gave me an idea, though- cereal for dinner? i'm gonna do that for dinner tonight!