Some Firsts

First, on my list of firsts, happened on Sunday. We went to church a little early and got some good seats, soft seats. That's not a first. We are used to going 15 minutes early to beat the crowd of 600. As they were making announcements, before the hymn even, the power went out for about 15 seconds and when it came back on again, the fire alarm was on and wouldn't turn off. Weird, though. It wasn't loud and annoying, just a bit distracting, as far a sacrament meeting goes. A voice in the back kept repeating something like, "Don't panic, there may be a fire in the building"--but I couldn't quite make out what it said since I was in the second row. That was the fire alarm? If there is a real fire, don't you want something so loud and annoying that you have to leave? Well, anyway. None of us left, at first. We watched as some men scampered about trying to get it turned off. We listened to two hymns. Poor new bishopric on their second week. Good thing there wasn't a real fire, eh? Finally, we were told to evacuate until the fire department checked things out and turned it off. We stood outside for an hour (luckily, the weather was nice). We watched the fire trucks. And, the alarm wouldn't turn off. Our last resort was to have sacrament meeting in the next building over. Don't worry, it was only three blocks away--Utah. Good thing too, because they literally rearranged over half our ward.

We both got our first callings since moving to Utah (mine was last month). Jared is the first assistant in the High Priest Group. Seems like such a great calling. So funny too that in a ward this big there are only 15 high priests. But it does seem to fit since most people, including the whole bishopric, are younger than us. Are we really that old? Anyway, my calling is the Relief Society Meeting Leader (aka--the former Enrichment Leader). There was already a committee of 10 people that I work with. They seem like a pretty fun group. Even with committees like mine there are still 200 people in the ward without a calling. Such a weird problem to have.

We went to our first stake conference since moving here. I walked into one of the four church buildings they were broadcasting to and couldn't find a seat at the very back. I almost cried. It made me miss Florida so much where our little stake fit comfortably in one building, where you knew or at least recognized a good part of the stake, not to mention the ward. I'm glad there are so many faithful people here, but I feel so lost and insignificant at these moments.

Sunday was also a first for Connor, and all our kids. He had a cold for a couple of weeks, but in the last few days it had gotten pretty bad. He would wake up with his eyes glued shut and then overflow with gunk all day. Sunday was the worst. He couldn't open his eyes for over an hour, even after all the cleaning, because they were so swollen and painful. It gave me a taste of what it would be like to have a blind child. Jared took him in and he had an ear infection (not pink eye--his actual eyes weren't pink). None of my kids have ever had an ear infection before so I don't often jump to this conclusion. After a couple of days of antibiotics and eye drops he is looking and acting soooo much better. I hate to be one of those air head moms that lets infections linger, but I also hate to take my kids in over every little sniffle. Such a fine line I guess.

This was how I found him sleeping one day (he slept a lot that week). With a ball, of course, and with his hands behind his head. You can kind of see how swollen his eyes are.
This is how Jared found him the next day. Same arms with the feet out of his crib.And speaking of sleeping kids, we found Marissa on the floor in the hall one night wrapped in her towel after her bath, fast asleep.
Last week Alex had some firsts. He started shooting baskets, in the neighborhood basketball hoop, and actually making it. Then he kept asking to ride his bike with no training wheels and, since Erin ruined me as bike riding teacher, I kept telling him to wait for daddy but that there was a bike right there if he wanted to teach himself. Well, that's exactly what he did. He taught himself and caught on so quickly. He does great now. It is awesome to see Erin and Alex riding around by themselves. The next thing he learned was how to tie his shoes. Since he is going to school next year, I figured it was a good skill to have. I showed him a couple of times and he pretty much has it. It gives me hope to have a child like him that just does things easily without complaining. Thank goodness for Alex in this family!

Funny thing about his bike though. The first day he started riding it, the cover over the chain fell off. I told him he could still use it. The next day he came over to me with the pedal... a little more tricky to ride, but it got put back on. Then his seat kept coming off, and one time it got stuck in the brake position. I'm thinking it might be time for a new bike for the boy.Marissa's bike might be getting a little small too... and old. That thing has been through a lot of kids (and we didn't even get it new) and has been run over with a car.
It's been the first time in a long time that the weather's been nice enough to go outside. I've felt like a shut-in for a while. When it's gets above 60 degrees, people start coming out of their caves. It's nice to get out and talk to people. I have felt so depressed lately. My best friend from Florida thinks it's situational and that I am not permanently like this. Being pregnant and not feeling great, combined with cold, dreary weather, moving across the country, having "friends" but not "great, close friends for 9 years" and then being home alone with three kids constantly. I don't feel like I can trade kids with anyone yet because how can I ask someone with one or two kids to watch my three or four? There's no break. I don't want to say that I am not excited to have another baby because any new child is wonderful and amazing. But... when my youngest gets to a certain age, like 18 months, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. They are more independent, I don't feel so trapped, I have a normal body again, I can start doing things again. So getting pregnant made whatever light that was there go completely dark. I will still have three kids at home that are not in school next year. I better stop writing about this... I know I have so much to be grateful for. So many people can't have kids or can't have more than one. I've been blessed with so many. I know I won't always be in this situation. Eventually I will stop having another baby and I will actually see light again.

Moving along... today was the first doctor's appointment that I really enjoyed. Since it's a group, I meet with someone different every time. The midwife today was incredible! I felt like she had the exact same philosophy about birth that I have and was supporting my decisions 100%. I haven't felt that since I was pregnant with Marissa. And Utah is so much better when it comes to delivering babies than Florida, as far as I can tell. Thank goodness.

Big News

Okay, so I guess it's probably time to write this post.

It's the "I'm pregnant" post. It's not the "I can't believe I've been pregnant for 20 weeks and just found out!" post, that was two kids ago. I'd like to think that won't happen to me again. This one, in fact, was the one I found out about earlier than any other baby, which I conclude can only mean one thing: I will be "pregnant" for much longer, or so it will seem. It was, after all, quite random how I found out. It was the middle of the day (in January) and I was going up to take a shower. As I passed the linen closet on my way to the bathroom I thought, "Hey, I have an extra pregnancy test in there, I should take it just to make sure I'm not pregnant"--because I seem to have no early symptoms that would otherwise give it away. For some reason, when I took it, I thought it was one of the kind that had a + or a -, and since two lines appeared with no plus sign I assumed that meant it was a minus sign and that I had just confirmed the fact that I was not pregnant. But just to verify, I decided to check the box. "Wait," I thought, "my test matches the pregnant one on the box." This probably confirms the fact that I am an airhead when it comes to this kind of thing, as if my third pregnancy didn't already. I know, I know. Most people take a test when they think they are pregnant or when they really hope they are. I take them when there's an extra one in the closet and I happen to have to pee.

In all honesty, we knew we wanted more kids, but we weren't sure about the timing. We kept going back and forth about when to have the next one. It was the end of December that I realized that there would be a big family reunion in October and that it would be really stupid to get pregnant then. But, of course, I was already pregnant. I am due Sept. 20th, which makes me about 11 1/2 weeks. I saw the squirmy peanut last week, which finally confirmed it for me.

This is the first time I have ever felt like someone was missing in our family. Jared and I had both felt that way for a while, but without telling each other. All the kids will be in the room and I will have the feeling that someone isn't there. But after counting the kids I always realize that they are all there. The other day I even tried to load another one in the car. Anyway, it's a really strong feeling that helps me know that this baby is supposed to be here. We are excited about it. We have the space in our house and we still have one more spot in the mini-van. Weird. We bought it when we still only had one kid.

I found a place that would do a VBAC. It's a group with 3 doctors and 6 midwives. I think it'll be weird to meet with someone new every time, but do I really need a relationship with the person that is going the stand there while I push a baby out? I feel like I have done it enough to know my body and what to expect. They are there, in my opinion, in case of an emergency. So as long as they let me do what I want, I guess it doesn't matter if I am in love with them or not. And as far as I can tell, Utah has a much better VBAC policy compared to Florida. No more crazy Russian smoke-filled doctor's office. At least this place seems normal.

Just because I don't get sick, doesn't mean I don't feel any effects. I would say tiredness and laziness are my two biggest symptoms. Definitely two separate problems that I seem to feel a lot of. So I take a nap every day, religiously, and by the time night comes I am too lazy to do anything but sit on the couch and watch TV. Hopefully I can get some nesting energy in the next few weeks so that I can finally get something accomplished, you know, besides sleeping.

Shirtless, Muddy, Goggle-wearing Kids

Just another word about these kids of mine. I had to laugh yesterday when I was watching them at story time. Alex had his hood up and gloves on the whole time, while Marissa was wearing a short sleeve dress, no tights or socks and tennis shoes that were on backwards (at least her hair was done). Connor was wandering around somewhere with a pair of goggles on (yes, goggles--see picture), which he has been insisting on wearing ever since Erin's swimming lessons--you know, at the grocery store and stuff. He points to them and says "Eye", meaning he wants me to put them on. It could have been worse though. At least my kid wasn't the one with the leotard over her nightgown. Classic. I get some good laughs anyway even if the kids think there's nothing odd about any of it.Connor has been able to show his personality a lot more lately due to the fact that he is starting to talk a lot. We've been reading a lot of the Froggy books where the mom always yells FRROOOOGGGYY! and he always says wh-a-a-a-t? I was trying to entertain Connor at Erin's school one day and all the kids' names were on the wall on some frogs. I said, "Look Connor, Frogs. What do they say?" And he immediately said, "FRROOOOOGGGYY!" I love seeing the little wheels in his head turning. He knows he's being funny too. The other thing he picked up from that book is "wh-a-a-a-t", so he will always answer us if we call him, even if he can't say much more than "what".

Whenever he wants milk he comes up to me and says, "jiodjkflmeaio;fmi (something I can't understand) muk" and then immediately after he holds his hands out and says, "s'is it?" (meaning where is it?). Then he pulls me over to get him some or else he'll start crying. I love that every time the phone rings he yells, "Uh-oh, foam." He recently started say "shaw" for "yeah", which always makes me laugh. "Did you poop Connor?" "Shaw"

He loves to sit on the counter, and usually it is easier for me to do what I need to do with him there. Yesterday he pulled out several pieces of bread to cook, and recook, some very crispy toast. Should I not let my 1 year old use the toaster?
Erin and Alex still love each other. They've been fantasizing about being twins. When asked why, it was so that they could copy each others' homework. Nice.But lately Marissa and Connor have become better buddies, which is good to see. Connor copies so many things that she does, which is why I now have two shirtless children dancing around the living room every day instead of just one. I don't know why Marissa thinks taking off her shirt is a good idea, but the moment she does it, so does he. Then, she will strike a pose and ask me to take a picture. Connor immediately follows with the same pose. What kind of kids am I raising anyway? But they sure make us laugh, as evidenced in the following pictures taken during FHE.
This one cracks me up because he really was striking a pose here.He copies her every move.Also, just note that I usually do Marissa's hair and I always make sure she has a shirt on at the beginning of the day, but alas, this is usually what it comes down to in the end--my little naked orphan girl. This picture was taken literally 30 seconds before both their shirts were off. And... they are both crouching.And now for one of the worst ideas that I've agreed to since moving into this house: the day I let them play outside in the mud. This is our backyard...Isn't Utah just breathtaking? Instead of making snowballs they decided to make mud balls. Mud was all over everything! Just look how much mud is on the bottom of Connor's boots? He couldn't even walk without slipping.By the end he also had it all over his hands, pants and coat, which then got onto our house, glass door, floor, chair and me. What was I thinking? We've got to get our grass in soon! Until then, I guess we'll have to keep happy inside.

Speaking of inside, we have been trapped inside because of sickness for a week and a half. Erin missed almost all of last week, Connor was sick and wouldn't eat anything except "muk" and then I got sick this week. I felt horrible on Tuesday, and so did Connor, which was a bad combination. Ugh. Sick moms should not have to take care of cranky babies. That should just be a rule, that's all I'm saying. Jared came home about an hour early and I slept for hours and hours. Hey, I was even too sick to watch our newest obsession, "Downton Abbey." Such a great show! I absolutely recommend it!

We are all on the mend which I am extremely grateful for. It doesn't take much to realize how good you have it when you are healthy, that's for sure. The other bad thing is that I didn't finish my goals for February. Almost, but not quite. One involved finally getting all of our doctors and dentists nailed down and I did that one (yep, we've been here since June and I'm finally getting around to it). The other was to organize my files, which I went through but never got back into the filing cabinet. I was in the middle of painting the ugly file cabinet when we all got sick. Hopefully it'll get done soon. Not tonight though. I have a couch to lay on and another great episode to watch.